Some pregnant women worry about their diet, exercise regiment, sleep schedule, and/or emotional heath. To be honest, I haven’t really given most of those things a second thought over the past nine months. I just do what I usually do, with some modifications, of course. My main worry, during this pregnancy, was about traveling. This, too, I didn’t dwell on during my first pregnancy. My husband, Sean, and I traveled all the way to Sydney, Australia when I was 5 months pregnant with my son, Landon, and I flew (moved actually) to Los Angeles 8 months preggo. This pregnancy, however, I had a bigger date on the calendar that I did NOT want to miss: my sister-in-law’s wedding in Austin, TX on May 9. What’s the problem you ask? My due date is May 25. So, yes that’s right . . . you’re not “supposed” to be getting on a plane that late into your pregnancy. Hence, my dilemma. What’s a preggo to do?
The engaged couple, Maureen & Hans, called the entire family to make sure the date worked so they could book their venue . . . about 2 weeks before we found out we were pregnant. Our first thought, of course, was, “We’ll figure it out. It’ll be fine,” so I actually spent most of my pregnancy feeling pretty optimistic about the situation. Right at the beginning of my 3rd trimester, when I traveled to NYC, I became uncomfortable with some SI joint issues. Let’s just say that feeling like you’re being kicked in the ass every time you take a step is not super fun (My heart goes out to any of my fellow preggers who have dealt with sciatica.), so at that point I definitely started to question traveling to Austin at 37 weeks pregnant. Fortunately, the pain went away a few weeks later, and I was back to my usual routine and once again feeling optimistic.
WHY RISK IT?
The bottom line was this . . . I’ve known Maureen since she was fifteen (yes, that’s how long my husband and I have been together). Sixteen years later I did not want to miss the most important event in her life. Besides that, both Sean and Landon were standing up in the wedding. I knew that, ultimately, I would be more sad if I stayed home, than I would be about having a baby in Austin, which was Scenario #1. I just thought, “Let’s’ face it – there are worse places you could deliver a baby, right?” Plus, what if I stayed in Santa Monica alone, and my son and husband went without me to the wedding, Scenario #2, and then came back and I still hadn’t had the baby? I would have been even more regretful and sad. Seeing that today is May 20 and I still haven’t had the baby, this would have been just the case. Scenario #3 was that they go to the wedding, I stay here, they can’t get back in time, and I go into labor without them here. For me, this was the worst possibility; I didn’t want to risk delivering baby #2 without Sean by my side. I’d much rather just have the baby in Austin. And oddly enough, though everyone else seemed to be, I was never once concerned that I would have the baby on the plane, Scenario #4. It was a 2.5 hour flight, and I just felt like I knew my body wouldn’t do that to me.**For more scenarios, check in with my mother & mother-in-law. I think they had lunch together and came up with every possible situation.
So what did my OBGYN say?
Well, legally, my OBGYN could not recommend me getting on a plane at almost 38 weeks, especially since she put me on the monitor 2 weeks before the wedding and saw that I was already having contractions. I left the appointment that day in tears. Thank goodness for my sane husband, who when I called him balling about the prospect of not going to the wedding, calmed me down and said, “Let’s worry about names for the baby. That’s more important right now.” He told me later that he just knew I wouldn’t allow myself to miss the wedding. The dude knows me better than anyone – what can I say?
The day before we were supposed to fly, at just over 37 weeks, Sean went with me to see the doc. Sean, who has a much better read on people than I do, said to me “She’s not worried.” My OB had asked me a few times how late I was with Landon (10 days), how big Landon was when he was born (8.4 lbs.), and voiced that she wanted this baby to be a little closer in weight before delivery (which meant I probably had 2-3 more weeks left in me). Although she could not recommend that I go, what she did say was that if I was going to make the decision to go and wanted to make sure I did not have a baby in Austin, I would essentially need to be on bed rest while I was there to keep the baby inside and not risk ANYTHING happening.
So that’s what I did.
We flew Southwest (who by the way, actually allows women to fly up to 38 weeks, no doctor note needed). Sean insisted I cover my growing bump with a big sweater, as if that would hide anything. My game plan, if anyone asked, was to act horrified that they were questioning me and say “How dare you! I’m having twins!”
Fortunately, my mom was also meeting us in Austin. Not only was she invited to the wedding, but she was coming to help with Landon and make sure her pregnant daughter stayed in bed (Thanks, Mom). Plus, Landon couldn’t have been happier to have his Gram there.
The good news
I essentially stayed seated or in bed Wednesday through Friday and made it to the beautiful wedding on Friday night!
I got to see my husband and son dressed in their adorable suspenders.
I watched Maureen, looking the most beautiful I’ve ever seen her, marry the love of her life.
We weren’t leaving until Sunday, so on Saturday I did even less. I was terrified I had pushed my luck and would go into labor now that the wedding was over. I basically laid in bed with my eyes open and prayed I would make it through one more day before flying home.
Well, here I am, back in Santa Monica, for over a week now . . . still pregnant. I will tell you that my 4 days of bed rest in Austin were a little torturous for me, who does not like to sit still. (And yes, I realize I have nothing to complain about compared to the women who are put on months and months of bed rest.), but more than anything, I am just grateful that the baby cooperated and stayed inside. If anything, it just reiterates to me how important it is to stay active when you can during pregnancy . . . you just never know what can happen or the decisions you’ll have to make. Balancing WHAT you love with WHO you love can sometimes really test you. This was probably the most challenging decision of my pregnancy, but I know I made the right one. What would you have done? (Feel free to leave a reply below.)