Why Am I Doing This? Do You Ever Ask Yourself That?

So, I’m sitting here tonight, after I put my kids to bed . . . and I started having those thoughts that every so often run through my head . . . “Why am I doing this?” (And by “this,” I mean working.)

I just got back from almost 2 weeks of vacationing with my family – my husband, my four year old Landon, and my 15 month old Liam. I didn’t really have a break (from my kids) the entire time I was there, but I also barely did any work, with the exception of a few Periscopes (which was mostly only play anyways because I’m trying to figure out what I want my format to be, when to do it, etc.).  So now we’re back and I had a sitter most of the day because I knew I had a lot of catching up to do . . . conference calls, catching up on social media and emails, editing some videos and pictures.  Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, but after being with my kids non-stop for two weeks, I missed them today and even sent the sitter home early because I just wanted to snuggle with them.

Fortunately, I have a business that is focused a lot on the fact that I’m a mom. Fortunately, I do not work full time. Fortunately, I love what I do . . . but as I sit here tonight, I’m trying to remind myself why my work is important. My blog is all about struggling to balance WHAT You Love with WHO You Love, but at this very moment WHO is pulling ahead big time. The struggle is real. My kids are growing up so fast and I know what I do helps moms and moms-to-be, and I know my work is part of what feeds me and keeps me passionate about life, but right now I’m having a moment where none of that seems important.  I’m hoping this is post-vacation blues . . . I’m hoping I’m just having a moment . . . but I’m also hoping that maybe I’m not.

Have you ever had this moment?

 

11 comments | Add Your Own

    • sara says:

      Thanks Michelle. I feel like it’s just so much better knowing that all of us (meaning Moms) are going through the same thing.

  1. Maureen says:

    All the time! I’m always reminded I can never get back yesterday. So I try to live my days that way the best I can!

  2. Nicole L Duval says:

    Yes. I’m between working more to make money and wanting to spend more time with the kids. I feel like I never get good sleep anymore with all of the worrying!!! I’d love to help you with the project… if I can find time!!!

  3. Maegan says:

    I SO have these moments. I had one yesterday as I clocked a 15 hour workday. I too own my own business and my son is 8 weeks old today- I went back to work two weeks ago (My husband is on paternity leave). What makes me OK with the transition to go back so early is that I’m home 90% of the time. So while I worked all day yesterday I was able to stop and feed my son, put him to bed and clock some smile time. As my husband and I got in to bed I commented on how exhausted I was from my long day. I was tired and a little irritable but looking back at my day I realized that I LOVED every second of it. I know that my work inspires me and this drive makes me a better mom. While I sometimes want to chuck it all out the window, I know I’m just having a moment.

  4. Enza says:

    Had that feeling big time today as I watched my little guy in the window of his daycare. He was watching me pull away.

    • sara says:

      Yes, Enza. I think it’s just one of those things we go through as we try to balance motherhood. I’m glad I’m not alone. Thanks for sharing.

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